Day Three: Professor Umbridge

It seems like lately that the hours in the day go by so quickly. I guess if you really look at things they really do. 1440 minutes really isn't a lot if you think about how quickly 1 minute goes by. It's not that difficult to get up to 1440 pretty quickly. But you see to me that just doesn't add up. But anyway. In the last few days that I've been here I feel like time is just racing by me and I don't even have the time to sit and think for a moment. I'm completely shell shocked still. Even after being here for a little while. I still can't figure out what needs to be done. I feel like I have so many little commitments that I can't be held to. I'm just so utterly confused right now. But I suppose all I can do is keep pressing on and take each day as it comes.
I didn't sleep well last night as I expected. I think 5 am is around the time that I finally closed my eyes for the night and I woke up about 5 hours later at 10:15. I really could have slept another 45 minutes and been completely ok but I just felt like being awake I guess. Even with taking my time in the bath this morning and styling my hair and picking out an outfit and putting on makeup, making a few videos for my vlog, packing my bag, I still had time to make myself an egg and toast for breakfast and got to class within plenty of time. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm very bad at time management it seems.
My psychology class seems like an ok class as far as content goes. It's not the content I'm actually worried about though. I can do psychology. I was born to do psychology. I was born to analyze, listen and blame your mother for every dysfunction you have in life. I have a keyring that says practically that with a picture of a couch on it. The readings won't be difficult. The group discussions won't be hard. Whatever writing assignments the professor throws at us won't be a problem. Taking notes, coming to class, not falling asleep in lectures and keeping up with the massive work load probably won't hurt me. The professor...is what I'm worried about. Sometimes when I'm browsing around on YouTube and I start to read people's comments...there are certain people called "Internet trolls" that basically lambaste, try to manipulate, mortify, hurt and damage the reputation and self-esteem of the person making the video. Now me being the pacifist I am, I cannot wrap my brain around why people do these kinds of things. Why would you put forth SO much effort into hurting other people? Isn't it just easier to be nice? Well. I've never actually met a person like that in real life until today. Now I completely understand every single internet troll there ever was. For the sake of not getting into trouble, I'm not going to post this professor's name on here in case by some act of Satan she comes across it. My Psych 312 teacher is the meanest person I've ever seen in my life. And granted, I'm sure there are MUCH worse people out there and I am glad I haven't come into contact with them yet. This particular professor gets her shits and giggles out of completely ripping into students for no reason whatsoever. This is how the class panned out.
I had never been in Broussard Hall before, but it didn't take me too long to find my classroom. The building is set up pretty similarly to some buildings I've had classes in and judging by the size of my class (95 students) I figured it was in one of the auditorium classrooms. I was right. Now these auditorium classrooms in Broussard are not like the ones in Wharton (the Biology building). They're not...big. They're not made for the size classes that people use them for. The classroom my class is held in, is cramped and hot and pretty unbearable. I think they just choose the most uncomfortable chairs they possibly can find, bolt them to the floor, and here's the worst part...the space between the back of the person's chair in front of you and the front of your desk isn't even two inches wide. How the hell...anyone is supposed to get through that space without being made of rubber....is beyond me. Once you figure out a way to sit in your chair...the person sitting in front of you's head is like....4 inches from your face. Which is gross. Thank God this girl that was the size my pinky finger took the seat next to me or I would have been slapping some people. I am extremely claustrophobic. And that's just horrible because...and please don't think I'm trying to be terrible when I say this....this girl that must have been borderlining 400 lbs tried to come sit next to me but physically COULD NOT. She tried..but the girl could literally not figure out how to get into the desk. She was so embarrassed and I tried to make her feel better because it wasn't really HER fault. She wasn't so huge that she wouldn't have been able to fit in a desk, it was just that the way they positioned the chairs there was no way she could have gotten in!! I'm surprised I got in! So clearly, someone who half a fucking brain built that classroom. But it doesn't matter because my professor is giving us a seating chart...which is...*clenches teeth*...we'll discuss that in a minute. Of course there's no AC on AGAIN and I am cramped, impatient and hot...three things that I cannot stand. After what seems like a half an hour wait our professor walks in. Our professor is a 300 lb middle aged woman with big red curly hair pulled into pigtails, wearing rose-tinted sunglasses and a ginormous blue and purple tye-dye moo moo, which is like a frumpy sack dress that old people wear. And the scary part is that...if you minus out all the facial fat...she kind of looks like me. So immediately I am inspired to never eat again because God FORBID I am 48 and look like THAT. But seriously, just by looking at her I had no sort of emotion towards her. Despite what I just said about her appearance, on seeing her for the first time I didn't judge her based on her BMI or her choice of dress. Hey, it takes all kinds right? The moment she opened her mouth is when I decided I didn't like her. After 20 minutes of fighting with the projector and making ugly noises and facial expressions at it, she got it to work and introduced herself. At first she didn't seem mean at all...just weird..maybe a little theatrical. She started talking about her life...how she hates teaching and how she didn't want to come back to the university this year. She also expressed how she was displeased she had so many students and wanted us to drop the course. Then she started going through the syllabus. This woman...has so many rules to her class that you'd think we were back in Kindergarten. Let me just say that first off....the moment a teacher expresses that he/she HATES her job and HATES her students and wants us to LEAVE, it turns me off. I cannot respect someone who demands respect from others but can't give it in return. And it breaks my heart to see a TEACHER who is wants her students to fail and to be unhappy and to not learn. Because you know if SHE doesn't want to be here, how can she expect all 95 of us to want to be there? Complete opposite from Anissa or Kyle, my other two professors who love their job and want to be there to help and to teach. Second of all, any COLLEGE professor who has assigned seating is on a complete power trip. There is NO reason to have assigned seating in a college environment. We are all ADULTS. Some of the people in my class are MARRIED and have CHILDREN. But that's exactly what she's treating us like...children. Some teachers will assign seats because of the attendance list. "It's easier to take attendance if you're sitting in assigned seats"...bullshit. There is nothing wrong with passing around a roll sheet. Of course....yes it's easy to cheat that way...get your buddy to sign you in or whatever. But this is college. If you're not grown up enough to come to class then probably you're going to fail the class anyway so WHY DOES SHE CARE?? It's because she's a total power hog. So God forbid I get stuck in between two massive people that smell and suffocate me to death. I think I might just pass out to make a point that her class is abusive and that the people who built Broussard Hall were on drugs. Anyway back to the syllabus...let me see if I can show you what I'm talking about....here are her class rules:

1) Attendance is mandatory, as per University rules. There are 29 class meetings. If you miss a class, you are responsible for covering the lecture material on your own, and demonstrating that you have done so. A copy of class notes for that day must be presented to Dr. ****** in order to be excused. These must be presented BEFORE THE EXAM covering the material for that lecture. Excessive absences will lower your grade. See attendance policy for more details.

2) Do not arrive late to class. Do not leave class early. It is rude to the professor and to your classmates.

3) You may not take a test booklet. Doing so will result in a score of 0 (zero) for the test.

4) Do not wear hats or caps during exams.

5) Please do not conduct private conversations in class; it distracts your classmates and is disrespectful. Silence all phones and beepers. Under no circumstances will you accept a phone call during class. Any electronic devices used during an exam will be confiscated for the duration of the semester.

6) Please do not sleep in class. I reserve the right to wake sleepers in the manner I see fit.

7.) Do not plagiarize. Do not copy or adapt other people’s writing and try to pass it off as your own.

Ok? So they seem pretty reasonable. I mean I agree with the whole you HAVE to come to class thing...the test booklet thing I can see because people will try to help their friends cheat on tests...talking in class thing I can DEFINITELY agree with. I hate people who talk in class. I reserve the right to take off anyone who's talking in class's head with a machete. I get the phone thing and the plagiarism. All of those I agree with her. What I cannot agree with is bringing a copy of your notes to the professor if you miss class. Again...why does she care? If you're absent you're responsible to take care of yourself. Why do you have to go track her down and SHOW her you got the notes? So she can have an opportunity to bitch you out while in her office?? Suck your blood because she's secretly a demon?? That's stupid. I guess I can kind of see where she's coming from with the leaving early and coming in late. I mean given the classroom setup it would probably be really distracting for someone to come and try to find a seat while lecture is going on or if they packed up and left early. But again...you're an adult...if you come to class late it's your own fault that you missed material and same goes for leaving early. If you have your cell phone in class...yeah that's a bit distracting if someone is texting or talking on their phone in class but does she have to TAKE IT AWAY for the rest of the semester? I think that's called stealing. In high school...yeah that might have worked. But in college...if a professor takes a student's cell phone for months...I believe that's called stealing. We're both on the same playing field now. There are people in that class that are HER age. I do not truly believe that a professor at a university can literally take someone's phone away from there for months. And then she starts talking about how if you're sleeping she's going to wake you up by hitting you over the head with a book...putting your hand in warm water....and the thing is people...SHE'S NOT JOKING. That's called physical assault (the book thing). And it wasn't just the rules that she was saying...it was the WAY she was saying them. She had this look on her face the whole time like she was going to kill you. This like...malicious, "I'm going to make you suffer" look. Every word she said like...was dripping with hatred and anger. I was like..."wow, this teacher really hates her life and everyone around her...no joke." Now! Here comes the kicker! Then after she went over the syllabus and talked about how much she hated her life and her students even more...then she decided to call roll. Which anyone who has 95 students should either never call roll or do it as quickly as possible. But seeing as she wanted to keep us there to the very last minute..she spent...and I kid you not....FORTY MINUTES calling roll. This is why it took 40 minutes to call each person's name. Every person she called..she had to stop and comment on how STUPID their name sounded, mortify them, tell them something physically unappealing about themselves, or ask them embarrassing questions about their lives. Let me just give you a few examples.

Professor: "Quincy Adams?"
Girl: "Here."
Professor: "Oh dear....did your parents not realize you're a girl?"

Professor: "Chinwe Asonye?" (said incorrectly)
Girl: (corrects teacher's pronunciation)
Professor: Where the hell are you FROM?

Those are the only two I can remember but seriously...she had to stop at everyone's name and make a comment about how stupid their name was or something. Or make insulting comments about the way they look. Forty minutes....she took to call everyone's names and make everyone look like a fool. That...I just cannot justify. In my mind...I'm calling her Professor Umbridge. She LOOKS like Professor Umbridge (the way I imagined her in the Harry Potter books) and she acts like her too. The name is quite fitting for her. She seems to live to make other people unhappy which is basically what Internet trolls do. I can see it on her face...when someone feels bad about themselves or embarrassed she has a little evil orgasm seeing them upset. I can now understand where every internet troll is coming from. And fortunately now when people spam my YouTube account I can just think of this particular professor sitting at her computer in her tye dye moo moo lambasting everyone and it makes it a little more comical. But I'm going to try and keep my nose clean as best as I can in that class. And maybe by some strange plot twist she might end up favoring me as a person. I do tend to attract assholes for some reason.
That was the only class I had today fortunately. Being in that class also makes me wonder if people are just mean or socially incompetent. The girl the size of my pinky finger that sat next to me is named Lee. I decided when Professor Umbridge told us that we'd have to turn in notes if we missed class that I should make a note buddy and the girl sitting next to me seemed nice enough. We were both shooting looks at each other the entire class every time professor Umbridge said something particularly ugly or embarrassing. I figured we had reached some kind of common understanding that Professor Umbridge is a total freak...so we should help each other out. So I wrote my contact info on a piece of paper and after class I gave it to her and said if she needed notes she could email me thinking she would reciprocate and say "Oh yes and you too here's mine" like every other person I've ever done that with in the past has done. No. This girl just looked at me like I was a total lesbian freak and took the paper...didn't even TALK just smiled weirdly and walked out. I was totally taken aback. I mean...maybe I'm just reading too much into it, maybe she was just really shy and quiet because the girl didn't talk at all. HELL for all I know the girl could have been mute! Even when Umbridge called her name she didn't say "here" she just raised her hand. So maybe she was just nervous or scared or something. I shouldn't judge her but I feel like a total fool. Thank God we have assigned seating now so I don't have to sit next to her and endure her "omg lesbian" looks she kept giving me. I'M NOT A LESBIAN! I WALK 20 MINUTES TO SCHOOL IN THE HEAT AND I DON'T WANT TO GET DRESSED UP LIKE YOU, PINKY FINGER! SORRY IF I'M WEARING GYM CLOTHES AND BARELY ANY MAKE UP. I'M NOT HITTING ON YOU! I like boys...... :(
Anyway. After class I went to see my college advisor and talked to her about switching my minor. Of course it isn't as easy as walking up to them and telling them what you want (oh if only it was just that easy). No, I have to wait until winter advising session to declare a different minor. So I won't see "anthropology" as my minor until Christmas. BLERG! I guess I'm stuck with my philosophy minor until then. Which isn't a big deal it's not like I'm taking any minor classes this semester but still..I hate when people put things off and things don't get done. After I went and discussed things with my advisor I went to Martin Hall to get some grades on my transcript fixed...walked to the bookstore and got my psych book and then went home.
I had some bonding time with my roommate today. We ate last night's leftovers for lunch together and talked about taking naked pictures of our significant others....don't ask. Then she decided she wanted to go try out the pool our apartment complex has and started blowing up her raft in the living room. I took that opportunity to snap a couple of pictures of her while she was doing that. I for one, am staying away from that pool until another 20 lbs comes off my body. I need to work harder!! Damn it for eating those cheese puffs today! WHY ARE CHIPS MY WEAKNESS?? LIKE KRYPTONITE TO SUPERMAN! I also included a video of me spying on the train that runs directly outside of my house. It was for my vlog but I think I'll include it here too. Then the people in the parking lot saw me and I was embarrassed. Anyway...I'm going to end it here and go heat up some of my dad's spaghetti for dinner. Oh dear me, it's already 8:20 at night! I need to go to bed by midnight tonight. At least I didn't take a nap today! Goodnight!

End Day 3