Day Twenty-Six: My Cockroach Killer

Yesterday morning I awoke at 6 AM to go to my biology lab. It was still dark outside and I was eating graham crackers on my couch trying not to miss my mouth and shake my wee hours of the morning zombie mindset when I saw a dark shadow under my coffee table. It wasn't very big...in fact I thought it was one of my brown hairclips I had been searching for. But then I saw it move. My immediate response was, "Oh crap." I slowly got up and went into my bedroom to find my flashlight and crawled up on top of the couch and shined the light under the table. Low and behold the insect world had left me one of their half-dead companions over night. The biggest cockroach that I've ever seen was on its back dying under my coffee table. I made a sound not unlike a wounded animal and ran into my bedroom. Had the thing been fully alive I might have had more initiative to smash it with a shoe. But oh dear...the poor thing was already dying and lying on its back and me being the sensitive kind soul I am could not bear to finish the task. Not like that...not with a shoe. My immediate plan of action was the scoop him up with a big spoon and fling him out my door. But in commencing that plan of action he began to squirm in the most vile way. My reaction was something like a mix between repulsion and sympathy. It was so big too. The little cockroaches that sometimes showed up in my bathroom at my old apartment were easy to kill. They weren't that big so I could just hit them in one fell swoop, take them out with anything handy. This dude was humongous and I knew there were going to be guts and I knew he was going to be harder to kill. So after I stared at him for a few moments I realized he wasn't going anywhere. Whatever had wounded this roach had done a pretty good job. So as the time to go to class neared I decided to avoid the area by my coffee table altogether and scamper off to class and try and forget about the roach. Throughout the day I tried to con my roommate into going to the apartment and taking care of it. But she wasn't giving in. So I resorted to texting my friend Heath about my dilemma. Originally I hadn't expected him to come to Lafayette to take care of this roach issue. It was originally a message of "FML" because he is one of my friends that doesn't seem to mind when I go on my "FML" tirades. As the day came to a close I began to dread going home to see that roach. As I opened my door my eyes darted to the rug and sure enough...there he was...still as squirmy as he was when I left him. I beelined for my room and hid in my bed. Finally Heath texted me back asking me if I wanted him to take care of the roach. I did want him to take care of the roach. I didn't see myself in the near future killing that roach. So I told him yes. I was horribly hungry at the time but I am trying to conserve food. I only have a certain amount of money for groceries every month and I try to conserve money and food. Trying not to eat too much, eating only when I need to. But I was REALLY hungry. Like so much that my head was swooning but I didn't have anything to eat that I didn't really have to cook. I don't like to cook lunch. I really only cook dinner. So I figured I would wait it out until dinner to eat. However, Heath offered to buy me lunch. I don't like taking things from people. Don't like borrowing money. Don't like when people buy me things. Especially men. If my girl friends bought me something I would say "Thank you" and somehow pay them back. For some reason it's much more acceptable for a woman friend to buy me something than a man friend. Unless that man and I are in a relationship. Then it might be acceptable. But Heath works HARD for his money. I was super uncomfortable with him buying me something. But he said he would come and I wasn't going to fight with him about it. Well for a few hours he didn't show up so I figured he wasn't coming. I mentally prepared myself to kill the cock roach and cook dinner for myself and go to bed. Well around 6:00 Heath texts me, "Open the gate". I was like "You have got to be joking me". Heath shows up in his big ol' truck to take me to get food and kill my roach. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Heath is like a knight in shining armor on a white horse except his horse is more like a white, loud, tall pickup truck. Which is awesome. I like his truck so much. And usually I don't like trucks. It has this cool sound system thing in it that turns colors and it's really trippy. And even when he's going 30 it sounds like he's going 90. It's hilarious. I'm always tell him "SLOW DOWN!" and he's like "I'm going 30!" It doesn't sound like he's going 30 but I guess he is. Heath bought me Subway and we came home and he killed my roach. I didn't watch. But he tried to throw it in my laundry hamper to make me mad. He watched me clean my kitchen and my living room. We beat each other up with a vacuum cleaner and then we lied on the floor for like....20 minutes just laughing about retarded stuff. Heath makes me laugh SO much. More so than probably any person I've ever met. He watched me do my French homework and then I got a whim that I wanted a cherry limeade from Sonic. I voiced it just as a random thought but Heath didn't miss a beat, "Put your shoes on so we can go get a cherry limeade". I was like thinking, "Damn, I've never had a friend that is so willing to cater to me before." It kind of makes me feel like a bad person actually. Like I said I don't like people doing things for me. Especially men. But seeing as I really wanted a cherry limeade I was ready to go with him to Sonic......plus I wanted to ride in the truck again. But I was fully prepared to pay for my own freaking cherry limeade. Well Sonic was closed. So without even asking me, Heath decides we're going to Walmart. Well I can't go into Walmart to buy just one thing. I wanted to go in there to buy Sprite and cherries to make my own cherry limeade. But I ended up picking up paper towels and some other stuff that I needed for the house. Again....I WAS FULLY PREPARED TO PAY. I saw these Ragin Cajun (that's my school mascot) PJ pants that I've been wanting for a long time. I don't have any UL clothes except a t-shirt and a sweatshirt but no pants or shorts or anything. And I've been wanting some of those badly. But I didn't have enough money for that. Heath commanded me "Get em'" so I did. I was too tired to argue with him. Getting up at 6 AM had worn me out. I was going to pay for my towels and Sprite and the other things I had picked up but he picked up the tab. I was pissed but again...to tired to argue. Somehow, some way I am going to slip $33 in his pocket one day. I don't care if he REALLY doesn't want me to pay him back...I have to. It's just the way I am. And somehow I will get it to him. When he's least expecting it. Maybe I'll put it in his birthday card and mail it to his house. Then he CAN'T refuse. He brought me back to my house and we laid on my bed talking about life for like an hour and then he left to go home. I really....really appreciate everything he does for me. He shouldn't have to. I'm nobody. I'm just a girl who's never had a job, who's never had to take care of myself financially before...I don't deserve to be treated so well. But I fully fully love him so much for it. He's the best guy friend I've ever had. And I just realized that.

I love you boy.


End Day Twenty-Six