Doesn't it suck when you build up an expectation and an excitement for something and then you're completely let down? That's how Friday was for me. I spent a lot of time cleaning up my house, straightening up and getting excited about my family coming to visit me this weekend. Literally. Since Monday I had been blowing up my dad's phone asking him, "When are you coming?" "What time are you getting here?" I was so excited. Was pretty excited to see the other members of my family too. I always get happy when my family comes to see me. I like it when it's just me and my dad but I also like it when my other family members come to see me. I've decided NOT to post this entry on Facebook just because it talks about people in my family and I don't want to make it public how I feel about this situation. But the few people who do read my blog and are subscribed can know what's going on. I frankly DO NOT care if the people I talk about in this entry find this and want to tell me shit for posting it on the Internet. This is MY blog and I'M going to say what I want. This isn't "the stepping on broken eggs" blog. This is how I feel.
For some reason it seems that my sister likes to make everything about her. She spends time with my father 24/7. I don't really ever get to see him except when I come into town or when he comes and visits me. So I like to spend quality time with him. But whenever my dad brings my sister along with him to Lafayette, it's like....she won't let my father interact with me and she makes the whole trip about her. This is one of those character flaws in people that make me want to physically rip my hair out and give up on humanity. The sad part is that I love my sister. I do. It's not that I hate her or that I think she's an asshole all the time...and it breaks my heart that I end up being miserable when she comes to see me because it should be about spending time together. But this weekend was basically "Lanie and Dad Fun Weekend In Lafayette Together Dragging Katie Along". I felt like the ENTIRE time I was being excluded from everything. But that's how Lanie is. She makes sure that everyone is focusing on her all the time and no one can steal the spotlight from her.
So I got all hyped up about seeing my family. I was really happy. They got here pretty late on Friday and we went out for a late dinner. My dad informed me then that he had lost one of his jobs which was going to cut his salary in half. Of course I wasn't expecting anyone to be happy about this so I could understand the melancholy mood. I mean...that's terrible, and a huge blow to my family. But I guess it's the natural process of things. As my dad nears his late 60s, as the oldest child I'm going to be expected to start providing for not only myself but for those family members that can't provide for themselves anymore. I've been mentally preparing myself for months now that what it's going to come down to is, this entire family is going to fall on MY shoulders. My dad's getting old...that's normal. He's losing his jobs and it's only natural that I'm going to take care of him. My sister hasn't even gotten into college yet and if my dad can't fund her schooling, who do you think is going to have to? Me. And my mom is a completely incompetent human being and is going to sooner or later be banging at my door for money too. This entire family is going to come down to me. And I wonder why it is that I get mistreated the most in the family? I am TOTALLY the Foudriat Family scapegoat. When someone needs a reason for why their lives suck...it's because of me. I literally can do NO right in my family. But whatever. I'm going to support them anyway because that's what I do.
So yeah, I understood why everyone was in a somber mood then and also accounting for the fact that it was late and they were tired. So whatever, I let that slide. I'm writing this account on Sunday actually, so this entry is being written in retrospect, so I will continue this story in entry Twenty-Eight because that just pretty much sums up why I have all these hard feelings towards everyone. This was basically all that happened Friday. I will see you guys in Entry 28.
End Day Twenty-Seven
No comments:
Post a Comment